What are the signs of commitment phobia?
One of the most common questions about commitment phobia, commitment issues and relationship issues is 'What are the signs of commitment phobia?'.
The Symptoms of Commitment Phobia
This brief explanation of some of the symptoms of commitment phobia will give you an overall picture of the sorts of things that people with commitment phobia can experience. (for a more comprehensive description, see our main symptoms of commitment phobia pages).
Commitment phobia can express itself in all kinds of different ways, but typically sufferers may exhibit any of these:
- Being overly critical of the other partner in the relationship, and/or the relationship as a whole.
- Annoying / hurting the other person, thus sabotaging the relationship, even if it's considered to be working well. An example of this, might be consistently turning up late for things - whether with apologetic excuses, or not.
- Being scared of getting noticed, because the other person might want to start a relationship. In fact, they'll often reject other people from the word go, so that a relationship barely gets off the starting blocks. The feeling behind this, can be to protect themselves from even the prospect of allowing others' to get too close.
- At the other end of the scale, a commitment phobic, may be flirtatious and appear to want the attentions of other interested parties, desiring even a longer-term physical relationship. But, eventually the fear can, and often does, win out and the other person gets pushed away, leaving broken hearts in its wake.
- Fearing being swamped by others, and thus losing sight of who they feel they really are.
- Unable to face or explore the prospects, issues, or thoughts, of living together, or getting married.Some commitment phobics may want to find Mr or Miss Right and get married, but will often have somewhat unrealistic 'ideals' over possible suitors.
- Often friends and relatives notice and will often make comments like: 'you're being too picky', and 'Mr/Miss Perfect' just doesn't exist'.
- Sometimes they'll fall in love with other people who just aren't interested in forming an intimate relationship. The reasoning behind this can be that the commitment phobic has, (deliberately, or otherwise), chosen a person who can't/won't, form a lasting relationship, and so they are 'safe' from having to make that long-term commitment.
- There is also the type of sufferer who enters a relationship, can't commit, then leaves at some point, only to return sometime later, before leaving yet again. This yo-yoing can happen time and time again leaving hurt, bewilderment and distrust in its wake.
- There can be the avoidance of having to commit to anything. This can also involve jobs, tasks, timekeeping, as well as personal relationships / friendships. Interestingly, it can even involve undertaking treatment for the commitment phobia itself.
Improving problems with commitment can be relatively straightforward, when you know what to do
You might be relieved to know that there are a few things that issues like these tend to have in common. They are often to do with the way you think about the problem, and while they can be relatively straightforward to change when you know what they are, they can be difficult to spot if you don't.
Our commitment phobia self-help programme
The Avon HypnoCognition® Commitment Phobia Programme has been designed specifically to help with commitment issues.
We've helped lots of people over the years to see what's behind their problems, and we can help you to do this too. We can show you how to recognise these things for yourself, and we've put all this info into a self-help programme.
What some of our previous clients have said...
Here's what some of our previous clients have said...
I had hoped for some improvement when I came to see you the first time, but I never ever imagined that so many things would be sorted out and that I would feel that much better -- not just about relationships but about myself in general.
It was another failed relationship that made me go and get professional help, not being entirely convinced that there was much I could do about my pattern -- which was always ending up with the wrong guy. But rather than waiting for Mr. Right, I thought it was better to do something about it. And I am so glad I did! My views, opinions and feelings have completely changed.
I will never forget you and what you did for me - Thank you so, so much!
All the best, take care and see you soon,
Kerstin, a commitment phobia client from London
(Name used with permission)
Thank you so so much for all your help with everything....my commitment phobia is well and truely gone.....and i will never forget you for that... i want other people to know that commitment phobia can be overcome.... i have read threads on websites where people have commitment phobia and they are going mad and think that there is no cure or no way of over coming it.....i thought that too....before i met you and Denise...
Chloe S, a commitment phobia client from London
(Name used with permission)
Paul has provided me with the right help and the right tools. I feel empowered to deeply improve my approach to life and he has already got me well started.
Words from Gael, who is successfully overcoming his commitment phobia